To be a chad is to not give a fuck. It is to own your masculinity and your misfortune. It is to act without fear of what others may say or do. To be a chad is to reach a peak that’s the preserve of gods.
But that’s not to say all chads look like gods. That’s a common misconception. To be a chad is to be alpha, and yet you don’t even need to be male to be a chad: it’s a state of mind. Washboard abs, a jawline that could cut glass, and facial hair so high test it should carry a trigger warning are merely a side mission for chads to chase; the outward manifestation of a state of mind.
Many of the crypto chads in our top 21 don’t look remotely chaddish. And that’s what makes them chad af. There can only be one champion, however, a god among gods. Counting down from 21, these are the biggest chads in crypto right now.
21. Chamath Palihapitiya
Chamath Palihapitiya had the Jordan Peterson ‘gotya’ moment of the corona crisis in his response to Fast Money Halftime Report’s Scott Wapner. “You keep saying ‘propping up zombie companies,'” Wapner asked. “Are you arguing to let airlines, for example, fail?”
“Yes,” mic dropped Palihapitiya.
Wapner’s shock was palpable. One coffin dance mashup later and Palihapitiya’s chad status was assured.
20. Jihan Wu
Never mind the acne scars, thick-rimmed glasses, or pitifully shy look. Jihan Wu is so alpha he was pretty much the CEO of Bitcoin for four years. Fuck your mother if you want fuck.
Pomp looks like the sort of jock who beat you up for your lunch money, were it not for the fact that he went to a much better school than you. With his 100-watt smile and cleancut good looks, Anthony Pompliano is the poster boy of crypto. Whether you throw kisses or darts is your call.
18. Nick Szabo
He invented smart contracts, for christ’s sake, and dreamed up Bit Gold. That’s an automatic induction into the Halls of Chad. Wherever you stand on coronavirus, immigration, and nationalism, Nick Szabo stands opposite. He will ruthlessly flame, deride, and block you on Twitter, because Bitcoin’s OG chad doesn’t suffer fools.
With a basement gym and the gainz to prove it – plus a chad battlestation – Sicarious gives off distinctly alpha vibes. There’s a chance he’s actually a beta larping as a chad, but we’ll wager he’s a fine specimen of a trad male.
16. Roger Ver
You can say what you like about Roger Ver, but it takes balls of steel to flip off the entire industry, let old friendships die, and defiantly plow your own furrow. Roger Ver does not give a fuck what you think and is more alpha than you will ever be.
Taking steroids and pumping iron don’t make Romano a chad: destroying white knights and thot patrolling attention whores does. A beta trapped in an alpha’s body (or is it the other way around?), Romano is the classic zoomer Chad: a giga-chad on the internet and a raging autist in real life. And since digital is now consuming physical, it is the internet chads who will inherit the earth. Betas reborn as chads is the new normal.
Loma trades like a chad, but to show he’s still in touch with the common man, he shitposts like an autistic weeb. Anyone with the balls to consistently share their setups and post proof has cojones of steel. Loma’s are huge. That his avatar should be a UFC fighter of the same name is merely good opsec, and not indicative of the real Loma being a DYEL beta. Because as we all know, no one would ever lie about their appearance on the internet.
13. Preston Byrne
Legal crypto’s libertarian chad Preston Byrne is a real charmer. When he’s not wooing the ladies with his marmot, Preston’s making crypto Twitter wet for his concise legal takes and defense of free speech. In a different life, Preston would have been a fedora-tipping supreme gentlemen. Somehow, the timeline forked, and he became a legal chad. The lord works in mysterious ways.
12. Parabolic Trav
Parabolic Trav created the best known variant of Plan B’s bitcoin stock to flow model. This pantie-dropping fact isn’t the only reason why Trav’s an unequivocal chad: his willingness to counter prevailing coronavirus wisdom and deride statist boot-lickers as motherless cucks also elevate him to god-tier among mortals.
11. Matt Odell
He may not subsist on a diet of red meat, but in every other respect, Matt Odell is an archetypal hyper-masculine bitcoin maximalist. So chad he stacks sats while doing one-handed pushups, Matt is a man’s man and a chain analysis man’s nightmare.
10. Eric Wall
His chad takedowns of Iota and Hashgraph earn Eric Wall a place in the top 20. Erudite, unapologetic and adversarial, Eric is the sort of chad you’d take home to meet your parents, only for your mum to start flirting with him.
So chad he threatened to roll back the blockchain to restore Binance’s hacked bitcoin – and people actually considered it. CZ is the new Jihan: Asia’s de facto leader of crypto, with an army of Binancians that grows stronger every day. As the Ed Sheeran of blockchain, Changpeng ‘CZ’ Zhao is proof that with enough zeros on your bitcoin balance, anyone can become a chad.
8. Chris Burniske
The original Clark Kent, Chris Burniske plays a geeky crypto analyst by day. By weekend, he takes off his glasses and is transformed into an irresistible surfer chad. Combine the brains of (Good) Will Hunting and the smolder of Ryan Gosling and you get top 10 crypto chad material.
7. Balaji S. Srinivasan
Balaji was right about coronavirus from the start, and continues to be right about most things on a daily basis. The biotech and crypto entrepreneur is so chad he declined to comment for Vox because he knew they were crafting a deceptive Silicon Valley takedown about avoiding handshakes. He was vindicated, and Vox had their asses handed to them for the first time by Balaji during the corona crisis. It would not be the last.
6. Jameson Lopp
Armed, off the grid, and so cypherpunk he encrypts his own toilet roll, Jameson Lopp is a high-test innawoods chad. Crypto’s Ted Kaczynski has been prepping for life for life. His mancave may be the safest place to see out the coming apocalypse – but first you’ve got to find it.
5. Crypto Cobain
Cobie isn’t as alpha as his Twitter account might suggest. Inside the successful trader is a lonely guy trying to find meaning in life once you’ve “made it.” He’s still the chad of the crypto market, though, with a knack for knowing when the bottom is in. Crypto Cobain is the trading alpha who spawned 1,000 imitators.
4. Andreas Brekken
He’s got the looks, the coding chops, and he’s probably got your girl. If you wouldn’t go gay for Andreas, you’re dead from the waist up. Usually found lounging on Thai beaches with a retinue of beauties, Andreas is the man Calvin Ayre wishes he was. So chad he once provided half of all liquidity on the Lightning Network, Andreas is living our dream, because someone has to.
3. Gym Friend
Body of an all-natty turbo-deca-Chad, mind of a philosopher, Gym Friend is the chad we all secretly aspire to be. But we’ll never make it, because there can only be one Gym Friend. When the final battle against the dark fiat forces commences, Gym Friend will lead the crypto troops into battle. Even if we should fall, it will have been worth it just to stand in his shadow. We’re not worthy, Gym Friend.
Invented Bitcoin. Didn’t give a fuck about famewhoring. Knew when to disappear. Didn’t touch his mega stash of BTC. Satoshi Nakmoto is Bitcoin’s original and eternal chad. He’s not its biggest, however, for even Satoshi can’t hold a flame to this man…
1. Arthur Hayes
He speaks like a god. He writes like a god. He trades like a god. And he’s built like a god. Hell, he even smiles like one. You don’t have to worship Arthur Hayes – one man’s god is another man’s devil, after all – but you do have to respect him for being the top chad in crypto. How can other chads even compete?